Loss of identity is often cited as one of the top things that people experience when they retire, and it can be very real and deeply disconcerting for many.

Any of life’s big transitions can be expected to impact our sense of identity. Retirement is just one of them. Consider: starting your first “real” job, getting married, having children, divorcing, starting a business, switching careers, and so on. For most people, these life events push us to grow and mature, inevitably leading to changes in how we see ourselves.

By the time we retire, we’ve probably experienced several shifts in identity.

That said, since work is so highly valued in our society and is ever present for us for several decades, our close relationship with our work can become cemented as the identity central to our being. This is especially true when, for example,

• we place work first above all else throughout our careers,
• get our greatest fulfillment from our work,
• see our work as a calling or the one thing we’re really good at,
• are lauded for the work we do and always identified by others as a (enter profession here), or
• all of the above.

People who have dedicated themselves so fully to their careers – something not uncommon in our culture – have likely had little time to explore or pursue other passions and interests. So, when faced with retirement they may have a hard time letting go and experience lots of uncertainty about their ability to reinvent themselves.

What you can do to start shifting your sense of identity

The key is to have faith that your sense of identity is malleable, and that you can shape it as needed.

• Try to see the roles you had during your career as just one part of who you are even if it was, for many years, the biggest part.
• Acquaint yourself with your core strengths and values. These are characteristics that don’t change with your circumstances but can be expressed in new ways just as satisfying as your work was. The free VIA Strengths Survey is one way to begin.
• Avoid referring to yourself as “a former_________” and find another way to confidently introduce yourself that reflects your new life stage.
• Learn about how to find new purpose in retirement. Then, experiment with things that call you and allow you to apply your core strengths, fit with your values, and exercise those skills that you enjoy using.
• Hang out with people who will help you stay positive, encourage you, and offer wisdom when needed.

Happiness derives from a sense of purpose and aligns closely with the relationships we have with the people in our lives. Focus on those two things and your sense of who you are will take care of itself.

“Reinventing oneself in retirement… [is] a journey that can be filled with uncertainty and challenges, but also with excitement and the possibility of discovering new talents and interests.” —Dr. Marc Agronin, geriatric psychiatrist and author

Marilyn Hintsa is an accredited Retirement Readiness Coach who works with people that want to continue making a difference in their post career lives. On her own retirement journey since 2019, Marilyn walks her talk: retirement is no reason to stop and go out to pasture, and every reason to now “do life” your way.  She is dedicated to helping her clients navigate one of life’s biggest transitions with confidence and excitement for what comes next. Connect with Marilyn at linkedin.com/in/hintsa/ or book a no obligation Retirement Readiness Chat at www.uleadu.ca.